I really need to start trying to blog more. Blaaaaah for procrastination!

Christmas is fast approaching and my head is spinning from numerous things already. I'll do my best to recall the events that have been going on. To start off, I went to the doctor on monday. I've been diagnosed with prehypertension (on the cusp of having high blood pressure) and so I was referred to this doctor. Anyhoo, it was a bit hard to find the doctor's office and by the time I finally did, my blood pressure was through the roof, haha. Well after some questioning and everything, the doctor tells me that he has some suspicions that I have a thyroid issue and he ordered some blood work to be done. I got it done yesterday around 10:30. I have a feeling that everything is going to be a mess. My mother has high bp, high cholesterol, and thyroid issues. I am expecting to hear close to the same as well. Of course I'm worried, who doesn't feel fear when they are faced with the possibility of having an inherited problem? It'll be okay though...I just hate having to wait. 

I'm still pretty SOL in the job aspect of my life. I feel bad about it and I'm trying to find one. All of this anxiety plus the anxiety from my crappy family situation has caused me to start having panic attacks. This started last saturday when I woke up and I've been dealing with it since. I've grown slightly used to the stabbing chest pain but the shortness of breath still messes with me. My sister has experienced the same thing and said that it'll stop when I get a job and eventually get back into school, which I am going to do. Unfortunately it has put some more pressure on me to do more when I am already trying my best, therefore making the anxiety worse. 

Ugh, I think I also have a short attention span because I just lost motivation to write some more. I'll probably come back and add more to this post, or just make a new post in general. Sorry guys. D:

-Ambz ♥

Long time no blog, I know. I need to become more consistent when it comes to typing up entries. Might be a bit better if I had a laptop I could type on anywhere at any time instead of this ridiculously slow desktop, but it is all that I have right now. -Sigh.- Oh well, moving along.~

I had my doctor's appointment this past Thursday. Basically surgery was and will be ruled out unless the shots fail to help or unless I relapse and become as bad as I was when I injured my back to begin with. This was a huge relief off my shoulders, however my next treatment will be some sort of shots. You may think this is no big deal and I didn't think so either, but then I got to thinking about it. A (possibly) huge needle is going to go straight into the nerve. HOLY CRAP! I got sick to my stomach when I saw my sister get her epidural and again when I saw my aunt get a simple injection into her IV when she was staying at the hospital at one point. Of course I have been stuck numerous times myself, whether it was for IVs, getting blood drawn, or some type of shot but this is different. I believe they are called Trigger Point shots, here is an article I found about them: uuughshots?!

I have heard they were painful and this article says the same thing. The side effects aren't too pretty either, but my issue is the procedure in general. I already feel sick just thinking about it. I have two weeks or less, depending on if I wish to start them sooner. I want to hurry up and get back to feeling natural and get back to work, I hate having to depend so much on my family even though they have been amazingly supportive. I just need to start living my life like I need to. With that said, I think I may be calling them next week to schedule myself for the first injection. It's just been way too long.

Speaking of my life, there are a few changes going on. Mom and I are switching cars until I get a job and can start paying my car payments again, plus her car is a bit easier on gas than mine. Not by much though. I also still have to call and obtain my transcripts so I can send them to my college of choice and start my education. Matt and I are also doing very well. (: He surprised me with something the other day, although we haven't talked about it yet. It probably won't also be further discussed until I get a job and everything too. Although my life's not great, it's going pretty well and I am enjoying it greatly. We could all do without the little annoyances, I severely wish I could erase them, but I am trying to learn to accept them because, after all, they have a purpose.

I guess this will suffice for now. I forgot what other subjects I was going to talk about, being sleepy will do that to you. I will hopefully start posting more and surely it will become a daily habit.

-Ambz ♥